How Can it Be so Hard?

The last couple of days have been interesting to say the least. I have many interesting

events happening in my life that I find exciting, boring, creepy, hard to understand, and weird.

Never did I think the day would come when I would feel all these emotions at the same time.

What makes me think I can get through all of this? Well that is for me to know and I might let

you know in my writing. I am adding the surprise so you have to read the whole thing for the

best part. I am like a freakin news station, so stick around for the great stories to come.

I will begin with the excitement in my life. I have two items to talk about here. First, the

NBA is back and I can’t wait to get my watch on. I have been missing the Blake Griffin alleyopps,

sweet assits from CP3 and D-Will, Superman blocking and rebounding, and The Big 2(not

three because Bosh is a panzy) seeking the coveted Larry O’Brien Trophy. With the return of

the NBA from its “nuclear winter” I don’t have to worry about what I am going to watch when the

NFL is over. What a big relief. who would have known what would have happened with out the

return of NBA.

Why is Nick bored? Well the question should be asked to all you people out there that

ignore me for your cooler friends with money and stuff. (Wink, Wink) I think my boredom has

been brought on by the fact that I have no life outside of school and work. I have been working

50-60 hours weeks, and I have also been going to school full time. The combination of the two

provide me with little fun. I need to get out of this rut and find things to make my life more

fascinating. But that is all I have to say about this “boring subject.”

For creepy I have to talk about my parents (no offense mama and papa). The

creepiness in my life is brought about mostly by my parents. They divorced no more then nine

months ago, and now they told me they are getting back together. It was one thing to take in a

divorce and be okay with it, but then nine months later saying they have worked everything out

is just hard for me to comprehend. I don’t want you to get me wrong, I love my parents and

always will, but this whole thing I find creepy after everything that happened. What is the need

to rush back into something that was not working nine months ago. This is why the law on

divorce taking over a year to be final needs to be passed. If this was only in place today, some

of the creepiness would be gone and I would not have to go through a wedding. Weddings are

one of my least favorite things to attend. I have no choice though so bring on the creepiness.

Let us talk now about things that are hard to understand. For me the hardest thing to

understand is why I don’t have the balls to ask a girl out, and why it is so hard in the first place

to actually get a girl that wants to. I might not be the best to look out, but man do I have a good

personality. I feel like all the girl I go after just want to be friends. Man I effing hate the stupid

friend zone. What the hell makes girls think that is what I want?!?!?! I am a guy who has needs

and I need a girl to fulfil these needs. I recently watched a youtube clip found by my friend TJ.

It was filmed up at Utah State. I man simply went around the campus asking men and women

each the same question: “Is it possible to be just friends with the opposite sex?” Every women

answered with a quick yes, while men all answered with a hesitant no. The interviewer than

asked each of the girl follow up questions about the guys that are just friends. He asked

whether or not they thought the guy in question had a crush on her, or whether they thought the

guy would hook up with them if the simply had a chance. All the ladies answered with yes to

these questions and found them selves stuck in a pickle on whether or not it a guy and a girl

can be just friends. Now I am sure we all have a personal opinion on the matter, but mine is

somewhat bias to both sides. I feel that I have plenty of friends out there that are girls and we

are just friends. But there is no way I can say I have never thought about them being more then

friends. If I was to say this it would be an utter lie and I am pretty sure all the boys out there will

agree. A guy looks at females as a mate, and we just have a mind that can not avoid thinking

about them in that way. It is evolution of the male species after all, so it really isn’t all our fault.

The big question for me right now is why I don`t have the balls to ask a girl out that I find

attractive. Is it just me, or is it this hard and awkward for all men out there in my same situation.

It was just today that I found myself flirting with this cute girl named Kaity. I had been working

my magic talking finding ways to compliment her every class, and just simply talk to her each

class. So today was the last day of class and that meant I probably would not have another

opportunity to ask her out like I had right then. So the during the class I was working up my

courage to ask her for her number and ask her out. I felt like it was fast Sunday and I had the

urge to get up and share my testimony, but in the end I never get up and actually do it. O how

close I got to actually asking her out, but o how so far I came at the same time. We were alone

in the room after class talking and I just couldn’t get the question out. Man I felt like a huge

failure the rest of the day, and there is no way to go back and change what had just happened.

So what does a guy like me do to overcome such disappointment? I write a blog and move on

to other things in life. Engulfing myself in other activities keeps me busy and gives me a good

excuse to tell my family why I haven’t been dating lately. I might be scared because the last girl

I was kinda dating turned out to be kinda crazy, and well I am really not one to deal with all that

drama.

This is my life, this is what I do. I don’t really expect much when it comes down to it, but

I really do miss having a girl in my life and I feel like it is something I want once again. Hope

that I can find that courage deep inside to be great. I need to get the boring, creepiness, and

weirdness out of my life and replace it with the excitement I really want.

Really.....I just LMFAO about PDA

People watching is one of my favorite past times.  I can be sitting in the park, store, or school and just sit and watch people for hours.  As I sit and watch people walk by doing there thing, it is always good to catch them in the act of doing something that they really didn't think anybody saw. 

One thing that makes me really happy is sitting and watching people skate board.  The whole time I am watching  I am praying for them to fall, and fall hard!  My favorite kind of humor is when I get to see people get hurt.  I don't know why this makes me so happy, but it does and I can't not laugh at a man getting drilled in his cojones by a board, ball, or any other fast moving projectile.  The happiness I receive from such experiences to others is just wrong I know, but how can one not be laughing there ass off when it happens.  When people put themselves in a spot for great failure, I find it a great opportunity to laugh and it really brightens my day(especially when it has been a tough day).  Words of wisdom from Nick:  Never underestimate the power of pain to either lift you up, or help you hit rock bottom.

Another thing on my mind as of late is the problem with PDA.  People, people, people.......the world is not asking for you to be making out in public.  We have invented cars, hotels, motels, cabins, houses with dark basements, rooms inside houses, and many other secluded private places that provide you privacy in the intimate moments.  No one wants to see two people with there hands all over each other in a public place.  If you are in the moment and you really need to get some lovin, go to your car or a dark private alley, or anywhere else I have mentioned above for your sexual activities.  Also please use protection if it comes down to it, because we don't know need these stupid minds of your bringing more stupid minds into the world.  PDA is a problem that needs to be dealt with, and I am willing to let you know that I am not going to take it.  I have set next to some couples during a sold out movie that think it is a good time to make out.  Well I am not one to say no to a good make out in the theater, but if it is a sold out movie have the respect for those around you.  This is a public service announcement to all those couples out there that don't think it is a problem.  If I am sitting next to you and have to listen to all the spit being exchanged between the two of you I will let you know how I feel.  Just ask the couple that decided to make out next to me during one of my new favorite movies "Moneyball."(if you haven't seen this movie you need to now before I hunt you down and make your life a living hell.)  If you are not going to stop sucking face during such a good movie I am going to turn to you and tell you it is annoying.....be prepared world because I am ready to make you blush and be straight up embarrassed.  

World lets respect the people around us and make PDA a thing of the past.  My word are set in stone(internet stone) and should be adhered to at all times.  I am wise beyond my years which leads me to believe that if you don't listen I will find you and it will make sure to make your future PDA will come with embarrassment and be as awkward as possible.      

Quote of the day:

"Cogito, ergo sum" (I think, therefore I exist!) -Rene Descartes 

What is the meaning of...........?

What is the meaning of……………?

            I have considered myself to be living a pretty average life.  I love sports, cooking, shooting stuff, and doing anything manly.  What is the meaning of it all though?  Every day is a new adventure with new questions as to why I do what I do?  Today I ponder the question of ‘what is love?’  Love is talked about by many.  Aristotle said “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”  Robert Frost said “Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”  Yep, those just made me question my own question.  So I ask myself again to define love.  I define love as a bond between you and someone you have an emotional bond for.  As I walk the campus of Dixie State College I see many people who are dating, married, and even friends with benefits.  How do they know what they have found is true love.  Is it really a feeling inside of you that lets  you know?  If so what does it feel like? 

            I have spent my first 23 years of life with probably only a couple of things I can say I truly love.  I would say family, religion, and friends.  These are people that have been there for me through the thick and thin and I know that they are willing to support me through all life brings.  I guess at this point in my life I am suppose to be looking for a certain companion(girl) that is going to love me for ETERNITY!  Eternity is a really long time, and I wonder if there really is any girl out there that can last that long with me.  I look for a certain soul mate to live this life with, but what if I already passed her up?  Is that the end for me?  I believe there is to be more than one soul mate for each person in the world.  The trick is finding them and actually taking the bull by the horns and asking them for their hand in marriage.  I guess my first ‘bull’ to conquer is asking a girl on a date.  I have seen plenty of girls around that I find cute, but is it just me or is going up to a random girl and asking her on a date weird? 

*Courage-the first step to finding love.

            -Nick Barnum

            I am far from Love so I digress.  We all think about the meaning of certain things in our life.  Some believe dreams so future comings, or some believe horoscopes are facts and should not be taking lightly.  Now I am religious and love to read the scriptures.  We read in the scriptures about different prophets receiving vision from God through dreams.  This is God speaking to his people on how we can return to live in his presence once again.  Then there are just those crazy nut jobs, and well normal people who have dreams and believe that it has meaning and that they should follow through with what happened in that dream.  I find that very insane to say the least.  What we dream should be kept in our dreams.  I am talking about when we are a sleep.  The dreams we should pursue are simply the same as the goals we want to achieve in life.  These are the dreams we should follow.  Some might say it is impossible, but when I read this word I see “I’m possible!”  Never underestimate your potential to be the best you can be.  We should always be pushing ourselves to find our limits.  “Never Say Never”(JB)

            As I let you ponder meaning of everything in your life, I would like to know switch subjects to something I find to be mucho importante!........SPORTS!!!!!!!

NBA Lockout =Finally over

            This can only mean good things are coming.  As much as I have loved watching Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings, Donald Driver, BJ Raji, and Charles Woodson go undefeated in the NFL, there is nothing like a sweet alley oop to Blake Griffin, or seeing LeBron James destroy the opposing team.  The ESPN Top 10 plays just haven’t been as electrifying without these NBA stars doing their thing.   Let’s get this CBA signed and let’s play some ball.  Christmas day can’t come any faster for me.  I love the rumors of trades, the hint of retirement, and even seeing the small market teams make a push in the playoffs(Way to go Memphis!).  I root, as I do every year, for the Utah Jazz to be the best in the west.  It is going to be a challenge with such a young team, but the youth will give us an edge in a season that will be crazy.  They will have weeks were teams will play back-to-back-to-back.  The older teams are going to have a hard time keeping up with the quickness of these youthful players. 

            My mind wonders, as do all great minds.  I hope this was insightful to those who read; if not……well I could care less because my opinion is greater than all y’alls!!!!!  Let this be a disclaimer for future posts.  As I leave you this post I would like to end with the words of the greatest basketball player of all time. 

“Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”
-Michael Jordan

Peace Easy St. Geezy!!!!!